Canine Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia (AIHA & IMHA) - My Baby Molly

My beloved baby, Molly, my 12-year old mini poodle, was taken from me ten days ago in a 36 hour bout with low red blood cells complicated by low platelets. We had to euthanize her because she was bleeding out and vomiting blood and very sick. She died in my arms. I think the shock is wearing off because I can't stop crying today. She was such a special girl, filled with life and mischief and fun. I miss her so much, my heart is broken. I can't stop thinking about her eyes, how sick and frightened she looked. And how they changed when the life went out of her. It makes me so sad. She was such a good dog. I tried to let her know I loved her in as many ways as I could during her short and violent illness. I, too, keep expecting to see and feel her all around the house. I can't believe she is gone. Less than a month previous, at her annual exam when she had vaccinations, the vet was raving about how healthy she was and how she would live for many more years. The future seems so bleak without her.

Heidi Denver

Heidi, I am so so sorry to hear about losing Molly. I understand how you feel, as I lost my Mikey in a very similar way on Sept 1st - he too had a 36 hour fight, almost to the hour, and since he was bleeding out (clots and strokes) we had to make the same terrible decision. I think what makes it that much harder is how they go from perfect health to so sick in so few hours. And I absolutely know what you're feeling about the eyes. I hope that you can find some peace in knowing that you did everything you could to fight this terrible disease, and that they don't suffer too much during the course of it. It does get easier, a tiny bit, day by day. I found a pet loss support group in my area, and visiting that meeting did tend to help the feelings of being alone and not understood. Joanne also has some great advice on this page: http://www.cloudnet.com/~jdickson/loss.htm. I know that with losing Mikey, I had to feel some kind of "action" - "what do I do now that he's gone?". I was so angry and sad I only had 8 months with my soul dog, and he was taken away too soon! So for me that was thinking about all the things I learned in having him, and the things I learned in losing him - and sharing that information so his life and loss wasn't in vain. It sort of helped not make this horrible disease just take him, it put so much meaning into his life. Maybe look to all the wonderful things Molly gave to you, making your life so much better, and the deep understanding you gain about life from the terrible loss. Anyway, know that you're not alone, and you are terrific for the wonderful life you gave to Molly and know that you did everything you could for her. Love and hugs, Jen.

Jen San Francisco

I lost my beloved Jack, a Golden Retriever, almost one month to the day he got all his vaccinations. I had had him since he was 3 months old and he was 3 when he passed. He was vaccinated July 16, 2010 and died Aug. 15th. I honestly believe it was due to over vaccinating. I did all the "right" things. Revolution, flea, tick, heart worm every month. Vaccinations faithfully. I have gone through hell emotionally missing him, loving him, wondering what I could have done different. HOWEVER, there is a life after the death of a beloved pet. I now have Foxy Lady a Collie Chow and whatever mix and she is the absolute best little gal I've ever known. She is not Jack, she is nothing like Jack. But she is alot like Jack. She has energy, she is smart, quick, bright and alert. Not that Jack wasnt' but they are totally different dogs and show their affection in different ways. But they both have that "look" in the eyes like they just know............. My friends told me to NOT be so hasty in getting another dog., but I knew I had to have another one and she has been so much a balm to my battered heart. I still cry when I think about Jack and Foxy just licks my hands as if to say, "I know, I know". She has helped me through my grief, although, honestly, I know in my heart, I'll never get over the loss of him. Just hang in there, cry, be angry, swear, break things and let it all out and then get another wonderful soul mate. I did and it helped me tremendously. So terribly sorry for your loss.......I do know how you feel because I feel your pain as well............... Mary

Mary Wright Gainesville

Dear Heidi Please accept my heartfelt condolences in the loss of your Molly. In time your tears will be replaced with the beautiful memories you shared with Molly. I know it is very difficult right now but you will feel better as each day passes, Molly's spirit is with you always and she will forever be a part of your heart. Cheryl & Ginger

Cheryl & Ginger Pinevile PA

Heidi, I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to deal with a loss that is so quick and so devastating. I hope your good memories of your time with Molly will help heal your pain. Penny

Penny Lytle Creek Calif

I am very sorry for your loss. Take heart in the many good years that you had with Molly, knowing that she had your love and devotion to the end. Very deepest sympathies, Ronda

Ronda Illinois

((((HEIDI)))) So sorry to hear this news. You've got my deepest sympathies and heartfelt condolences onyour loss. I hope you stick around some. This is a great placeto come for help and comfort. Run Free Molly Johnny & Tessy

Johnny

Dear Heidi, I am so very sorry for your loss of Molly. I totally understand how you feel, and the sadness and pain you are experiencing. While I have a surviving IMHA dog, I lost my cat Will suddenly in March, he was gone within 2 hours of getting him to a vet for help. It is heartbreaking and devastating. Time will heal your pain, and you will in time, remember the happy times with Molly and smile. Hugs to you, Sam & Millie.

Samantha Geelong Australia

Dear Jen, Mary, Cheryl & Ginger, Penny, Rhonda, Johnny & Tessy, Sam & Millie, Thanks so much for responding to my cry for support. It is so comforting to know that we are not alone. I am sorry to reply to you so late, I was becoming ill on Sunday and have had a bad cold. I have had my hands full with maintaining my work hours. I am sneezing, sniffling and dripping now because of the cold combined with tears. The vet hospital called last night and said they had Molly's ashes back. I feel a strong need to bring her home, so my daughter and I will make the trip to the vet hospital tonight to get her. I have downloaded the book on pet loss from the site that Jen recommended. I haven't listened to it yet. Do any of you have any advice on how I should deal with her final resting place? I thought I might scatter some of her ashes under her favorite trees for chasing squirrels. I'd also like to save some to be buried with me when I die. Do any of you have a burial ritual that you could share that you found comforting? I haven't been ready to clean any of her life out of the house yet. I think I may just rest her ashes in her bed in the picture window for a while. I still can't believe she is gone. I miss her so much. Best wishes to you all and your furbabies. Take them for a walk and hug them for me. Treasure every moment you have with them, their lives are so short and they love us so much. Heidi

Heidi Denver

Heidi, I was really upset when Sadie passed but just being able to pick her ashes up and bring her home where she belonged actually made me feel LOTS better! I've got her ashes in an urn on the mantle so she can watch over her family. I'm hoping that some day I can take some of the ashes and make jewelry or pendants out of them. I've heard of others on here that have done the same and it sounds really great. I'd love to have a part of her with me everyday in the form of a necklase or ring or whatever. Just a thought for you. The pain and sorrow does get better with time but I do find myself crying sporatically from time to time. I'll likely do this for years and years! I hope you start feeling better. Try to keep yourself busy...I find this helped me! Maybe you can plant a tree in her honor...I've got a garden planned for Sadie! Stay on here and talk with us if you like. Everyone here is great for support and comfort. HUGS Johnny & Tessy

Johnny

Dear Heidi, You have my sincere condolences. I know very well how the pain feels. For my last two dogs, including Kahlu who died at 3 1/2 of AIHA I decided to scatter the ashes into a lovely creek, where we walk lots. We have a large property and it would have been easy to do it here at home, but somehow it did not feel right. Maybe one day this property will not be mine anymore. The park where the creek is will always be accessible to me, be mine. I kept the ashes at home for a bit, waited for a nice sunny day when all the family could come along. (We have two adult daughters who were very close to these dogs) it was very peaceful. We sang a song that we always sang when the girls were little when we found a dead bird or other animal in our yard and buried it. We talked about old Minca and Kahlu and laughed at some of the things they did. You will probably get lots of ideas on what you could do. I think it is important that it is right for YOU! The ritual helped me, I think of happy times every time I walk by. What ever you do, it has to be meaningful to you. I have also started to do a bit of fund raising for Meisha's Hope: http://www.cloudnet.com/~jdickson/index.html I train my dogs in dog agility and at every trial there is a bucket where people can put in a few cents for course maps. Next week I want to do a little raffle. Before the trial I give a "spiel" about AIHA and because most people knew Kahlu, they are happy to donate a few cents. This fund raising and talking about AIHA has helped me a lot to make sense of Kahlu's early death. Everybody has different coping skills, I hope you find a way to heal your broken heart. Best wishes and heart felt sympathy Brigitte & the poodle boys

Brigitte BC Canada

Heidi, I have kept my Salome's box of ashes on my nightstand where she gets a kiss in the morning and a kiss at night and told how much she is still loved and missed. A lot of people have planted trees in their dogs honor. Kind of a symbolic renewal of life? I will have all my dogs ashes put in with me when I go and then we can all be scattered to the wind together. You will know what is right for you when the time comes. I think the scattering around her squirrel trees is a lovely idea. I feel that they are all running free healthy and happy waiting for us. Take care Penny

Penny Lytle Creek Calif

Dear Heidi, I have walked in the shadow of losing my little dog for 4 mths now. And I cry just thinking about your loss with your wonderful dog Molly, Im so sorry. Wishing you all the best.

debbie N.B. Canada

Dear Heidi, I am sorry for your loss and I know exactly how you feel. It's been four weeks since I lost my best friend Junior. I can't bear it. I am sorry for your precious Molly and for all others on this board who have lost precious friends. With all my love, Helen.

Helen Melbourne

We lost our Emmy about six weeks after a "gang" shot vacinnation. Giving shots should be one at a time and sevreal weeks apart. I have a friend who lives up the street and his Scotty had one of these shots and for days after he was very weak and lethargic. Fortunately he made it. Remember, one shot at a time and several weeks apart. These gang shots are horrific on the immune system. Good luck to all in your battles.

Jack NH

This thread was discussed between 10/10/2010 and 18/10/2010

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