Canine Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia (AIHA & IMHA) - Dog-parent paranoia

Hi everyone, We're in the process of adopting another dog, following Mikey's passing to AIHA Sept 1st. My husband and I grappled with the "is it too early" question, but some of you had mentioned adopting on the sooner side to help focus on helping a new friend, not focus on the depression, and so on. We thought that was a good idea. I am still unsure if it was the right time, but a dog by the name of Tigger (Tiggs!) came by my inbox, and she had the same look in her eye as Mikey and an inspriational name to boot... and is one of those really shy dogs I like to help. So we applied to adopt her. Anyway, she's doing fine (other than some itchy skin)... the problem is me. I'm paranoid. No, that doesn't cut it. Hyper-paranoid. I can barely sleep, I keep checking how fast she's breathing, waking up to make sure she's alive, checking her gums every couple days.. or maybe every day -- I lose count, always looking at how pink her tongue is every time she licks her chops or pants. Paranoid whenever she stress pants (she's fearful), or is she sick? Paranoid about bloat. Oh no eye gunk, is it infected? Paranoid about this, that, and the next thing. To go back a bit, I was always a bit worrisome with Mikey (worrying and me go way back) - and that was confirmed as a "good" thing in that we called the vet and had him to emergency so quickly with pretty subtle symptoms. So now that my paranoia was validated, I'm having a pretty tough time loosening up. And two weeks in it's driving my (generally relaxed) husband crazy. I know it's good to educate myself about potential dangers, and we're switching to a holistic vet, home-cooked (maybe raw one day) diet, no flea preventatives other than natural stuff and supplements, reduced or no heartworm, and so on. But I think if I don't loosen up the general paranoia, I may never get a good nights sleep again. I'm sure many of you can relate with the trauma of facing or having faced this disease. How do you all deal with the general anxiety? I know it's probably transferring to and not helping my already-fearful dog gain confidence, and that's what I really need to be worrying about! Thanks! Jen.

Jen San Francisco

Jen, I lost my dog in January of this year to this disease. While I am generally a go with the flow type person, I understand the stress and paranoia you speak of. To this day I offer my other dog (Macy's sister Sugar Bear) a treat everytime she seems to be tired and lethargic...just to make sure she eats the treat (when Macy was sick she didn't eat a thing). I don't think I will ever be able to stop doing this. It sounds like you are doing all that you can to eliminate the threat of IMHA again with the holistic approach. I guess at the end of the day, you just got to have faith that lightning won't strike twice (don't ask Johnny about this)...and that dogs live in the moment and don't have "memories" or "experiences" to draw from. I learned that from my girls (Macy and Sugars)...dogs are great at getting the most out of everyday they get here on earth with us. Perhaps we can learn from them. Best wishes to you and your husband with your new family member. -Darren

Darren Long Beach

Hi Jen, Like Darren I lost Kahlu in January of this year after fighting the disease for a year. 3 months later I had a puppy from the same breeder. I totally understand the paranoia. You are clearly doing all you can to prevent this happening again. Some things are out of our hands. At the last check my vet said: Just relax! So I am saying it to you..... Being relaxed would probably be a good thing for your new puppy, since Tigger is fearful. Tigger needs you to be confident if she is to become confident herself. Before I got my puppy I contacted Dr. Dodds who was involved in Kahlu's care. I asked her what I could do to prevent going through this again. Of course we only vaccinate after titers and like you said no flea and heart worm products. One thing Dr. Dodds recommended is, waiting with neutering until after puberty (with a rescue you probably had no say in that) and a thorough thyroid check at 10-12 months and then every year there after. You do the best you can and then you relax! I know this is easier said then done, but you can do it!:) Best wishes, Brigitte & the poodle boys

Brigitte BC Canada

Jen, I think that is the number one thing I hate about this disease. It robs you of the simple thing such is just loving your dog. Back in the pre-diagnosis day you didn't give a thought to what dangers lurked in all the things you took for granted. I have had dogs all my life( I am 60 years old) and until 2006 I was totally unaware of so many rare diseases I had never even heard of that I have had to deal with since then. We have lost 3 dogs all to different "rare" diseases. Every time we have lost one another stray shows up needing a loving home. (I think they are sent to us) you try to put the paranoia away so that you can live that simple life again. It takes time and I am very vocal to anyone treating my current dogs about what treatments, drugs etc. I am willing to accept. Have had a hard time finding a permanent everyday Vet but fortunately the current brood is staying healthy and I am not constantly thinking or checking to see if something is wrong. You just have to remember that you have a dog because of the joy they bring into your life and if something goes wrong you will be better prepared to deal with it but don't let it control you. Here are some words of wisdom I learned many years ago Ralph Waldo Emerson quote - Some of your hurts you have cured, And the sharpest you still have survived, But what torments of grief you endured From the evil which never arrived Penny

Penny Lytle Creek Calif

Jen, I think most everyone on this board "Knows of what you speak!!" I too, have had my fair share of rare "auto-immune disease" in the past year and a half. Of course, everyone on this forum knows that our Mercedes has "IMHA". What many don't know, is that her mother was diagnosed with "Addisons Disease" 6 months "after" Mercedes was born. Talk about paranoid! Every time my dogs seem a little "off" or aren't ready to "scarf down" dinner I immediately begin to obsess---what if Kalli's having an Addisonian crisis,---maybe Mercedes is beginning to "relapse". It IS a terrible way to live, I guess one must learn to cope with those thoughts. I have begun to relax, and try very hard not to obsess if one of the girls seems a little "tired" or is not real hungry at dinner time. I have come to understand, that "it is, what it is!" There is nothing we can humanly do, to prevent one of our dogs from developing a rare disease. All we can do, is be vigilant and treat each crisis appropriately when they come along. There are no "givens" in this life--so I am learning to enjoy every good day I can, with the dogs I share my life with. There is really no point in dwelling on the things that "could" happen---so try to enjoy every moment with your new puppy. Chances are he is going to be one healthy little dude---as most dogs are!! A friend once told me (when she lost a favorite puppy), I will never get another dog, it is just too hard to lose them. My response to that is, if you never own a dog, you will never experience the "joy" of sharing your life with them either! To me, that is like saying, I will never have children, because I could never bear to lose one. I can tell you from personal experience, the joy of having a child, even for a short time, far outweighs the heartbreak of losing one!!! Please, try to relax and enjoy the time you have with your prescious new dog!!! Warm regards, Maureen

Maureen BC Canada

Jen, I also went thru that stage. To make a long story short....On July 24th 2009 I lost my precious Babygirl Katie JoJo to AIHA (she was diagnosed on her 6th Birthday July 21) Anyways my good friends in Ohio and I were chatting VIA yahoo messenger on Saturday July 25th and they sent me a link to go check out and when I did that it was a photo of a little red shaded longhaired mini dachshund boy my reply was "How Sweet" then they replied with "Can you start loving him tomorrow?" The husband drove from their home in Ohio to McCordsville Indiana and then to Lafayette Indiana (where we once lived)and on Sunday July 26th 2009 Katie JoJo's baby brother came into my life. Believe me he is no replacement but he has helped me start the healing process every tear I shed he's always there to lick it off... Some people kept saying it was way too soon but I know in my heart that Katie JoJo made her journey so her baby brother can get all the love I have...So in another words it's never to soon to share your love for another..I know the short story didnt stay short...I'm sorry...Enjoy your new member of the family and remember to tell him/her about their big brother....God Bless & Lotta Love, Licks & Nibbles

Maria & Harley Mt View Missouri

Thank you so much everyone for the wonderful thoughts, experiences, and advice. I've read all your messages a couple times now, and your words are so helpful in working through the anxiety! Even if it sticks around for awhile, or always to some extent. It's also such comfort to know that you're not "alone" out there, I sure do appreciate this forum so much for that. And I love the tip about a treat confirming everything is OK - I think that'll help me, and I know Tigger won't mind those extra treats one bit! Thanks again, so much, Jen.

Jen San Francisco

And since it's a little tiny bit related, I hadn't been able to look at the full size (on computer screen instead of on the little camera view finder) of the following photo - and I was able to today (a step!), and post it on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jdehaan/5039160789/ Since we had Mikey such a short time (8 months), I had never in that entire time took a photo of the two of us, facing the camera. After all, what's the rush? Somehow during the commotion and stress, I thought to throw my camera in my purse when transporting him from the emergency vet to the specialist hospital to get such a photo "just in case". It struck me overnight I didn't have any of us. So it was the first and last photo of us together, the last time I held him, the last car ride, the last time he was on a leash. It was actually a beautiful car ride, holding him - and the sun shone at one point and he licked my face when that happened. It's amazing how these memories sort of turn into videos in your head, they're so strong. But I can't believe I never took photos of us together (just lots of ones of him) -- a lesson: take lots of those kinds of photos with your babies!!! Anyway, sorry -- wanted to share that bit and it turned into a ramble! Jen. (PS: Since the above is kind of sad, if you want, this is him at his happiest and I'm positive what he's doing right now: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jdehaan/4448552427/)

Jen San Francisco

Jen: It is hard not being paranoid after you experience something like this. But the thing to remember is that dogs live in the moment and we humans need to learn to do the same. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and then ask yourself - is my dog happy? Is she (or he) enjoying life? If the answer is yes - take another deep breath, look at her (or him), smile and then do whatever makes your dog even happier (walk, treats, belly rub...). Because there are few things in life better than making a dog happier! Enjoy the happy moments with Tigger! Rita, Mike and Sheba

Rita IA

Jen, Thanks for sharing the photos. Extremely sad and extremely powerful all at the same time. Tigger looks like a healer. Enjoy! Pay attention to the lessons that dogs can teach us. More about life than I ever learned in textbooks or college. -Darren

Darren Long Beach

Paranoia....what's that????

Johnny

Whoops...forgot to say that Mikey was absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!! I'm sure he's wowing the girls at the bridge! Tigger is also super cute! Congrats on the addition...I think it's great you are doing this! Mikey would be very proud of his mum! Can't wait to see more pics of him....hint hint. Johnny & Tessy

Johnny

This thread was discussed between 29/09/2010 and 02/10/2010

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