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Canine Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia (AIHA & IMHA) - buddy forever in my heart
| well it ahs been a month since Buddy has died and i miss him terribly. I have a 2 and 3 year old. My 3 year old is starting to cry for him. He tells me that he is crying because Buddy died. Is this normal for a 3 year old to feel this way? In the begining he was ok now he tells me that he is sad. Does anyone have kids. Buddy did have a big impact on my kids lives. Most of the time Buddy came everywhere with us. They helped me feed him , give him his water, go for walks you know little ones always want to help.Every morning when Buddy woke up (He would sleep in my bed)The kids would say good morning my sunshine and my son would sing him you are my sunshine song and buddy would try to kiss him. I am not ready to get another dog emotionally. I don't even know if that would be the right thing to do. Thank you for listening. Lucy |
| lucy ny |
| I feel for your kids. My son was 4 when we lost Bronwyn, and only 20 months when Abby died, so he's been through it twice now. Bronwyn's death was very hard on him; they were pretty much inseperable. My husband always said they were the classic "boy and his dog". He cried a lot after she died, and still does now, more than 2 years later. I think a 3 year old can have some grasp of the permanence of death, and he knows in a very visceral way that he misses his friend who's not there anymore. You said that he was OK at first, but now it's hitting him. It may have been that it's just now sinking in that Buddy's not coming back; at first, it might have been hard for him to understand that he wasn't somewhere else, waiting to come home. We just let Aidan cry, and gave lots of hugs, talked about it when he wanted to, and let it go when he didn't. Like us, kids come to some sort of acceptance and they learn to deal with it. Please give your little guy a hug from us; we've been there and we know how all of you are feeling. If you want to email me, feel free. Hang in there, all of you. Elizabeth |
| Elizabeth Baltimore |
| Hi Lucy, Sometimes I feel like the missing part will never go away. You just find ways to cope with it. I am so sorry your three year old is having such a hard time now. I wonder if at his age maybe he didn't actually realize that death is permanent, and thought that if given time Buddy would make it home. I don't know..my 15 year old son has taken Cocos passing so much harder than our girls ages 13,11 and 8. Coco loved hanging out with him though while the girls were busy with girl things alot of the time. He went through the first couple weeks crying alot of the time and although he's taking it better now it still gets both of us. I pray that your family finds peace with his passing..Kelly |
| Kelly Redding |
| Hi Lucy! Oh my.....I am so sorry your little boy is having such a difficult time. While, I do not have children, I totally agree with what Elizabeth said. I am not sure how much a 3 yr old can acknowledge death as permanent. My niece was 8 when I lost my aiha boy Jacob. She took it real hard. Bless her heart.....she has experienced so much sadness with so many deaths in our family. When my other dog Rocky passed one month ago, I was so wanting to not tell my niece because at the same time her grandma (my sister's mother-in-law) was in the ICU with sepsis. My niece is 10 now and I can tell you sickness and death really affect her in all aspects, including her school work. She has even faked being sick to stay home with her mommy because she was afraid that something would happen to her mommy if she left. So very sad. We want to protect these little ones from any kind of sadness but on the other hand we have to teach them that death is a part of life. The best advice I can give you is to let your little boy express his feelings of sadness and explains things to him to the best of your ability. If it goes on or gets worse, perhaps a phone call to the pediatrician will help. Best wishes! Teresa |
| Teresa va |
| I forgot to mention that in the past 2 years Dylan lost his Nana which he was very close with, an aunt and 2 dogs (Buddy died of this anemia and yoda died of ITP right after their vaccinations). So I think it is very hard on a 3 year old. Elizabeth I will give him hugs from you. thank you for all of your amazing support. Lucy |
| lucy ny |
| Lucy, I am first just so sorry for your pain and the pain of your sons. That has to be really, really hard. I am a "rookie" parent but I would think many talks would be in order. Perhaps, you can set a time frame for the "consideration" of another dog. You know, maybe set a "future" goal so that the "past" is not dwelled upon so much. I guess giving a little hope is what I am trying to say. Of course, now doesn't sound like the time but I think you will know when the time is right. As Kelly said, I don't think the pain EVER goes away. That is what I am personally dealing with. The longevity and severity of the loss. But, as you want to protect your sons, maybe you can all mend/heal by working towards that goal as a family. My heart really goes out to you Lucy. I'd say hang in there but that is so cliche'. Just know that the worst is behind you I guess.....Buddy lives within you. I really believe that. Wishing you all the best for you and your family. -Darren |
| Darren Long Beach |
| Lucy, i know there is a childrens book out called: the 10 good things about Barney. it deals with the loss of a dog. i don't know if it would still be available though. My two girls had to deal with a lot of deaths too. Pets, Grandparents, family friends and even school mates. They are now 22 and 24 year old very caring young women. I think these experiences made them stronger and who they are. I totally agree with everybody, that talking helps kids to deal with death. I think people that have to go through these losses, become more compassionate and caring. it is so hard to talk to little ones about death, because we don't always have the answers.... Just go with your gut feeling, you can't go wrong with hugs and love! Best wishes, Brigitte |
| Brigitte BC Canada |
This thread was discussed on 12/02/2010
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