Canine Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia (AIHA & IMHA) - AIHA - Please Help Me Understand

I'm sorry...am new and posted this in another thread then realized I probably should have started a new one. Please forgive me. My dog died within a week after being diagnosed with AIHA. I'm still hurting from losing this sweet little girl who attached herself to my heartstrings so quickly. Today all I've been thinking about is what did I do wrong, she was doing okay after coming home last Saturday evening, she ate good Sunday, had solid bowel movements, but Tuesday morning was terrible. I keep thinking it may have been something I fed her to cause her to go into relapse. I started giving her Jake's Cuisine again www.jakescuisine.com mixed with her kibble, but now I wonder if it upset her stomach more. Instead of typing all the events, I am copying and pasting what I sent to Rainbow Bridge grief support right after it happened. My message to Rainbow Bridge: My sweet little baby Miracle who we adopted February 27, 2008 left us on Tuesday, August 19, 2008 because of AIHA which is something I did not understand until going through all the procedures with her. Her problem began last Wednesday morning when she did not move off her pillow to go outside for her early morning ritual. I had to pick her up and take her to the grass. She relieved herself, but when she started walking her legs were wobbly. I got her to the vet's office and her paxel count was 10%, life threatening. The vet did a blood transfusion, but then sent me to the emergency clinic for further surgery to remove her spleen which was enlarged. They removed it with my permission and kept her Wednesday night for observations then transporting back to the regular vet Thursday morning. Her count was up during this visit, but the vet said she needed a bone marrow biopsy which he couldn't do so I was referred to a specialist 2 and half hours from home. I loved Miracle so off we went to Mandeville in the car together. She did very well and never complained or showed any signs of pain. Needless to say she had to spend he night, actually two nights there and was released on Saturday. I'm wondering if I pushed them into letting her come home too soon. She was weak, but ate really well Saturday and Sunday and I gave her the Prednisone medication as prescribed. Monday's vet visit was so encouraging because her count was up to 20%. I left there feeling really good. Miracle ate good Monday evening, but then took a turn for the worse Tuesday morning at 1:00 a.m. I'll never forget the time. For some reason it woke me up and I'm a heavy sleeper. She vomited next to the mattress I'd placed on the floor. Within a few hours she was vomiting more then had diarrhea. I realized it was serious when she showed signs of increased weakness so I got her to the emergency room at 4 a.m. It was evident the vet there was not that experienced because she was confused. At around 5:30 a.m. she called to suggest I drive her the 2 and a half hours to the specialist, but I wasn't sure if she would make it there and I knew the regular vet would be in at 8 a.m. Now I'm feeling guilty thinking maybe she would have fared much better if I'd done that, but I'm so confused about this disease that maybe there wasn't a chance of helping her no matter what. Miracle's stomach was filling up with liquid so the emergency vet relieved that by taking some from her. When I went to get her at 7:30 to transport her to my regular vet the assistant carried her to the car, but Miracle was listless. When I told the girl she immediately looked at her and ran her back inside. They put her back in the oxygen chamber and did what they could do. My regular vet didn't get in until 8 a.m. so I had to wait around and you can imagine how I felt. I was so upset and feeling guilty for having to bring her to an emergency clinic. The drive to the regular vet's office took about 15 minutes and poor little Miracle laid there, but her head was up and she seemed to be breathing okay. When I got her inside and told them I was here I sat down. It seems like the minute I sat down she started going limp. I just knew she was gone...Sarah who showed so much kindness toward Miracle ran out and took her from my arms. The vet talked to me later and said she vomited in the resusitation mask, but they would monitor her throughout the day. I hated to leave her there and that's another guilt because I wasn't able to hold her as she was leaving this world. The vet called me at around 12:30 p.m. to let me know she didn't make it. They tried everything they could to stabilize her, but it was affecting other organs. My mind is foggy right now, but she said the tests done earlier at the specialist showed protein in the kidneys which is not good. She also said something about the vascular system and Miracle was bleeding internally some more, that when she tapped the belly at 9 a.m. there was blood and at that point she was considering calling me about having her euthanized because it was beginning to affect her brain. Also jaundice was developing. More guilt is setting in on me for not staying there at the vet's office for her last moments. This is hard to deal with and please excuse my ramblings, but for some reason I feel it has to come out of me in words before I explode. This little dog touched me in the short time she was here and I so wanted her to have a long happy life for awhile because she was neglected before I got her. I'm beside myself feeling guilty for not recognizing a problem sooner. She had some diarrhea and would vomit occassionally, but not every day. I'm wondering if there was anything that could have been done sooner to save her from this awful ordeal. Maybe if she'd had more blood work done following the removal of a piece of metal from her stomach it would have helped...I just don't know. Maybe when I first saw the diarrhea I should have run her in to the vet's office. I did call to see what I could do and one of the ladies recommended a special food for dogs who have diarrhea, but when it stopped I didn't go in. I've cried my eyes out since getting the news on Tuesday and I'm having trouble right now as I'm shedding more tears while typing this. I could really use some words of encouragement and help from anyone who has experienced this AIHA problem. It baffles me that something could take away a beautiful little dog in such a short period of time. I'm leaving her page up on Dogster because she was so special to me. I made so many wonderful friends there through her and my other dogs. One made me a beautiful Rainbow Bridge picture of her which looks like she's sitting there at the bridge waiting on me to come for her. Another friend made her the most prettiest angel wings which really had me streaming tears when I first looked at it. It's still hard to view right now, but I did manage to upload it to her page. You will see those photos if you look at her page. And if you have time please read her diary from page one and let me know if there is anything in there that could have been a sign of this horrific disease. http://www.dogster.com/dogs/744404 Thank you for taking the time to read this extremely long message. I'm so sorry, but I had to give you all the details so you can understand where I'm coming from. I'm hurting more than anyone could ever know. And thanks for having the Rainbow Bridge site with all its inspirational poems. Ramona

Ramona Hand Lafayette

Ramona, Please don't blame yourself for the loss of your dear Miracle. IMHA is a terrible disease. We all do our best, but even the vets don't know how to treat this disease because each dog seems to be effected differently. Take comfort in the fact that you were a loving mom and try to remember the wonderful times you had with Miracle. God bless you. Leslie and Sunny

Leslie Oceanside

Dear Ramona, I am so sorry to hear about your great loss. I am especially grieved to see that your beautiful Miracle was a Schnauzer. I have two Giant Schnauzers at home and I feel a deep kinship to all people who love their Schnauzers. This happened too suddenly for you to have gained control of the situation. You did everything in your power to help her. Sometimes the very thing we want the most stays just out of our reach. There is a particularly special place at the Rainbow Bridge for owners who have adopted and saved a life of a loving dog. In the future your memories of this time will soften and be replaced by good memories of her love for you. Care for yourself in a way that she would have wanted you to. My deepest sympathy patrice

Patrice NYS

Ramona, I too am sitting here crying reading about your beautiful girl. I am so sorry to hear that your beautiful Miracle didn't make it. I hope that you can find some comfort in knowing that for the last 7 or so months since you adopted her, that you gave her a loving and stable home and were a wonderful friend, mom, and companion to her- something it sounds like she never knew prior to joining your family. AIHA/IMHA can happen seemingly overnight as many of us have learned, and sometimes even with heroic efforts, and I know you did everything you could, it's just too much for their little spirits and they would rather go run and play on the other side of the bridge. Be sure to visit Joanne's wonderful site where she has a section devoted to help in the grief and loss process. http://www.cloudnet.com/~jdickson/index.html Our thoughts are with you in this painful time. Please continue to stay here with us for as long as you need support and answers, even though sometimes, there just aren't any. melissa

melissa slc

I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, AND YOU DID NOTHING WRONG., THE DISEASE DID SOMETHING WRONG. IT STRUCK DOWN YOUR BELOVED MIRACLE AS IT HAS STRUCK DOWN SO MANY OF OUR BELVED DOGS. I HAD NEVER HEARD OF IT UNTIL MY 4 YEAR OLD GOLDEN RETRIEVER, HUNTER, WAS DIAGNOSED ON OCT. 9, 2003, AN I LOST HIM JUST A WEEK LATER ON oCT. 16. I VISITED MIRACLES DOGSTER PAGE AND MY HUNTER SENT YOU A MESAGE. DON'T BLAME YOUR SELF, I MADE THT MISTAK. IT WA NO YUR FULT, NOT MY FAULT, NOT THE FAULT OF ANY OF US. I IS A CRUEL DISEASE AND SOMETIMES NO MATTER WHAT WE AND OUR VETSDO, THERE IS JUST NO WAY TO SAVE A DOG. OTHER TIMES FATE STEPS IN AND ALLOWS THE DOGT TO GO INTO REMISSION.

SANDRA SLAYTON TEXAS

Please do not have that what ifs. This disease is so cruel. I had never ever heard of it when my 9 months old Maltese/shih Tzu come down with it suddenly. I tried to save him but after 7 weeks he got weaker and weaker and had no response with less than 0.01 regeneration (the vet said apsolutely nothing) despite being on all the recommended medications. He got an infection and we decided the kindest thing was to put him down. My thoughts to you at this most difficult time.

Julie Australia

Romona I have sent you an email from the Rainbow Bridge Page on guilt. I am still grieving the loss of my sweet Brandy but reading the grief and loss support pages and staying connected here are soothing to my hurting soul. My Brandy also went quickly as have many of the sweet souls posted on this site. They all fight valiantly but sometimes the choice to be free of it all is one they, and we need to make. If they choose to fight or cross to the Rainbow Bridge, either way we have loved and been loved back knowing we both did the best we could. Accept and embrace the love of those around you and read some books, take time to mourn and begin to think about making a memory album for Miracle. I go there to remember all the beautiful and loving times we shared. God BLess and will pray for you

sharon pa

Ramona, I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't beat yourself up. This is a terrible disease that strikes so quickly that even doing every suggested protocol does not always save our poor dogs. I hope in time you can remember the good times with Miracle instead of this awful week. Take care Penny

Penny Lytle Creek Calif

Dear Ramona & Family: Please accept my deepest condolences in the loss of your Miracle. You did everything you could and more to save her and Miracle would not want you to second guess yourself as it will only cause you more pain then you already have. Sometimes things are out of our control no matter what we do or hard we try. I can tell by your posting and her Dogster Page that Miracle had the best time of her life while she was with you and your family and feel comfort in knowing that this would have never happened it you did not rescue her. I do know how you feel as a Golden I rescued died of hemangiocarcinoma shortly after I had her. The pain was unbearable but I did get though it as you will. Perhaps in time, when you are ready you can rescue another dog as a tribute to Miracle and I have a feeling she would approve. Please remember that those we held in our arms for a little while we hold in our hearts forever. With heavy hearts, Cheryl & Ginger

Cheryl & Ginger Pineville PA

Ramona, Please know that you did all that you could for Miracle. I'm sure you filled her short little life with love and joy. Our pets are sweet gifts from God and we must cherish and care for them and I can tell from what you have written that you did just that for your little girl. God's word tells us that "A righteous man cares for the needs of his animals." Beyond that, and loving them, there's not much more we can do. I pray that God will comfort you and relieve the worry and regret you are experiencing.

Karen North Carolina

i am so sorry to hear that miracle was struck with this disease :( i really hope that she truly is resting now

josh california

Thank you for replying to my post. It still hurts and I know it will take more time, but your posts have helped a great deal. It's been a week now and I miss her so much. Last night I couldn't sleep because my mind was reliving every single moment that began at 11:00 p.m. last Monday evening and ending Tuesday morning. I loved Miracle like she was my child. Thank you for all the kinds words, your prayers and for reaching out.

Ramona Lafayette

Dear Ramona -- I was sorry to hear that you lost your dear Miracle to this damned disease. I am glad that you found this website, because the grief is so hard from this disease, which most of us have never heard of until we lose our dear dogs so suddenly. Like you, my husband and I loved our Wiley as our child, and we miss her so even three years after saying goodbye. We know she's happy and healthy again and in a better place, but we still have tough times, and I still relive so many moments of that last week when she was fighting for her life. In time, you do focus on the joyful life you had together and you are grateful that, even though the time was not as long as you wanted, your lovely Miracle graced your life and filled it with limitless love and joy. Please take care and let us know how you are doing. Everyone here understands the pain you've been through and are going through.

Brenda VA

Dear Ramona, I am so sorry that you lost miracle so soon. I too have a schnauzer, a mini, and he has been battling AIHA for over 1.5 years. I grieve with you, and will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Christine and Kent

Christine Fl

Dear Ramona, what a wonderful page you created for your miracle. It is truly a great tribute and how she was loved! I dont believe there is anything you could have done differently and you did nothing wrong with Miracle. It is hard to accept that it can just happen, it is not your fault and there is nothing different you could have done to change things. You will eventually feel better but you will never forget her and you will always remember her. Kent, 11 year old minischnauz, sends you a big four paw hug, and we are thinking of you. Christine and Kent

Christine Fl

Thank you once again to all who posted here and to those who sent me personal email messages. I hate that we had to meet under these circumstances, but I appreciate your reaching out to help me through this difficult time. I am thinking more rationally today than previously, but I still cry almost every night because there is a void in my house which hits me harder in the evenings as I'm winding down from the day. Miracle was such a special dog that it is so hard to make some people understand. As people like to point out "She was just a dog," that is just not true; she was more than a dog, she was like a child to me and it feels like I've lost my child. The weekend following her crossing Rainbow Bridge I was hurting so much that I posted my feelings in Sheba's Dogster diary. Sheba is one of my other dogs who is almost thirteen years old. Now I worry about the day she crosses the bridge. We were fortunate to have extended her life back in April 2003 when she underwent surgery for a badly ruptured disc. I also have another mini Schnauzer, Spike, who helps keep me sane and grounded.

Ramona Hand Lafayette

Ramona: You went to get Little Miracle Bosca for me and Schnauzer Rescue and fell in love with her. She had a wonderful, loving and caring home with you. That is the most any of us in rescue can ask. And, yes, they do leave a hole in our hearts no matter how long or how short of a time they are with us. I thank you for giving her a safe and loving home for the time she was with you. That was your gift to her, and she leaves you with many wonderful memories of how much she loved you. I am so sorry for your loss. Colleen

Colleen Mooney New Orleans

Ramona,Even the best, most devoted, most caring, most knowledgeable, most experienced veterinarians cannot keep some of our precious friends from traveling over the Bridge so how could those of us who never even knew of this nightmare disease before it struck our furry children be able to accomplish more than all of them put together?!  We struggle with guilt and second guessing in an effort to be that powerful but the greatest power we have is to love them with all our hearts and souls in the moments they are a part of our lives and to know that that is all they know...the specialness of each moment...however many there may be.  They don't look back saying "if only there had been more...!"  That is our human burden to bear.  The depth of our grief also, however, reflects the depth of our love and so, in a way, our grief is something to cherish since it also is the voice of the gift of the love you shared.Our shoulders are here if you need to cry and our ears are here if you want to share memories.With gentle caring,Cheryl (and always Barkley)

Cheryl Medford

This thread was discussed between 25/08/2008 and 21/09/2008

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